I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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