I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
