would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize