we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
