i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
