you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
