the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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