Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
