reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
soo... how was my night?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
