no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
