Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My bed is full of blood and feathers
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
