Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i just google imaged poop.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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