I hate your face
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
operation have a gay friend backfired
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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