I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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