Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
