I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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