I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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