thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
