i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
