Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
