Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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