i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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