I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
