"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
