Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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