At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
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