ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
