Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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