That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
