You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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