If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
