well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
