And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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