the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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