so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Randomize
