I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
then he tried to convert me to islam
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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