Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
