when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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