I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
