I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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