if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
