Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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