I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woke up backwards on a recliner
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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