During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize