I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
