I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
