Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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