her vagine was all disorganized.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
