Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just blew my weed a kiss
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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