I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I am one with the molecules
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
