how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
