You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
